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Talking to your teenager about contraception

By Giulia Draycott

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Do I? Don't I? Do they know enough? Could they know too much? Is it too soon? Or too late? Parents have even more dilemmas than their teens when it comes to discussing contraception.

Getting started on sex

Knowing how to talk to your teenager about contraception is an awkward moment for many parents. You want to be cool about it, but you feel strangely ancient. You want to be relaxed and open, but you're suddenly on high alert for any clue about their sex life... although you don't really want to know the details either. It's enough to put you off even before you start.

But if you feel uncomfortable about it, you can bet your teenager does too, whether they show it by being offhand, flippant, giggly or even moodier than usual. So it's up to you to set the tone, by being relaxed and open to discussion, rather than launching into a lecture or avoiding the issue altogether.

Keep the communication channels open

Of course, it's unlikely that you'll have a full and frank discussion all in one go, or at a conveniently planned time. Sometimes, it's easier just to seize the moment when the issue arises - on TV, in the paper, in a letter from school.

Whether it's a chance opportunity, or a well-rehearsed scene, perhaps the easiest starting point is to ask what they know already. It will give them a chance to show off their knowledge and you a chance to collect your thoughts. What's more, you might be surprised how much they have already learned at school.

A changing curriculum

In the classroom, reproduction and conception are a statutory part of the Science curriculum at key stage 3 for 11 to 14 year olds. More detailed sex and relationship education is already an element of Personal Social & Health Education (PSHE) in key stage 4 for 14 to 16 year olds¹.

By 2010, the new PSHE curriculum will ensure that sex and relationships education is compulsory in all schools, meaning children will learn about contraception and abortion from the age of 11².

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