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Talking To Your Daughter About Periods

By Giulia Draycott

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Preparing for your daughter's periods can seem like an age old rite of passage, both for her and for you. Not only are you facing the fact that your 'little girl' is no longer quite so little, you may also be feeling that you're not such a young mum after all.

But it's time to put such finer feelings aside. After all, there's no denying it. Her hormones are hotting up and the tell tale signs may begin to show. She's grumpy. She's tearful. Before you know it, so are you. At times like these knowing what to say can be a delicate affair...

It's still good to talk

Given her tender age, it's a good idea to talk about periods with her sooner, rather than later. By the time your daughter actually starts her menstrual cycle, she's probably more in the mood for a hug and a hot water bottle than a long talk about the link between her womb lining and a panty liner.

They grow up so soon...

There's another very good reason for talking to your daughter earlier than you might instinctively prefer. Although there are no definitive answers as to why¹, it does seem that girls these days are tending to hit puberty earlier than their mothers' generation². Beginning puberty earlier could also mean that your daughter may start her periods younger than you did, perhaps even as early as nine.

Whether your daughter is an early developer or a late starter, it's wise not to assume she'll be just like you either, in terms of her cycle length or hormonal side-effects. She also needs to know that there's a wide range of 'normal', both so that she's mentally prepared for her own menstrual cycles and so that she's aware that her friends' experiences may well be different.

How much detail is enough?

If you're reluctant to get into the details with her, remember that encouraging your daughter to be well-informed about her menstrual cycle is also an early precaution against unwanted pregnancy later on down the line. If you're embarrassed and confused she may be too - and therefore less likely to understand her own body.

The trick is to impart the biological facts in a way that's neither alarming nor hilariously misleading. Talk of "having the painters in" is not going to get you, nor her, anywhere useful. But then, neither is a blood and guts drama.

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