Talking to your daughter about periods
Be clear about the facts
Perhaps the easiest way to explain the menstrual cycle is that it's a sign that she is starting to develop into a woman. This means that the lining of her womb thickens each month so that it could support a fertilised egg. But unless a woman is pregnant, the womb lining breaks away about every 28 days, and is released as a flow of blood and tissue through the opening of the vagina.
Of course, you'll want to put it into your own words and exactly how you broach the topic will be influenced by the closeness of your relationship. But if you can keep it personal and real (without wanting to sound like an American shrink) then you're more likely to get your daughter really listening.
That's not to say that an informative diagram or two isn't a good idea, especially to make sure that you've got your own facts right. It's just that your daughter has probably seen (and sniggered at) all that at school. Body changes are discussed initially in Year Five within the national curriculum, with more detail being introduced in Years Six and Seven. So it's already a topic for public (i.e. playground) consumption.
How to handle it at home
Perhaps the difference between what a school offers (the facts, the polite discussion about feelings in class, the fits of the giggles afterwards) and what you as a mum can offer is the benefit of your experience. Some honest insights. A bit of humour. The all-important reassurance she needs.
A relaxed attitude towards the reality of having periods - including the aches and pains, the mishaps and the mortifications - will help her realise that she's not alone in her anxieties. The point is not to scare the pants off her, but to let her know that even the things that worry her aren't really that bad.
Honesty is the best policy
She needs to know that yes, one day your tampons will fall out of your handbag. Yes, you might get caught short without pads when your period starts. She might be secretly tickled or even horrified to hear your own tales of woe, but surely she's best getting the inside story from you rather than thinking that she's the first girl in the world to have ever got it wrong.
Similarly, she'll appreciate your insights into period pains and the hormonal feelings she's likely to be having. Your daughter might be lucky enough to sale through her monthly cycle without a niggle, but painful periods are very common among teenagers.
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